托福独立写作范文及名师批改（机经篇）

思润”"西安雅思托福”"中心为您分享托福备考知识，今天我们一起来看看这篇名师批改文章，那自己文章对比本文，找找文章存在的问题，取长补短，完善自己的托福写作。

机经!

Some students prefer to have their final grades determined by numerous small assignments, whereas others prefer to have their final grades determined by

only a few large ones. Which do you prefer and why?   

我特么有思路写不完啊！

It is becoming increasingly common that college students disagree with their professor about how their final grades should be determined. Some prefer to have final grades decided by numerous small assignments so as to reduce the risk, while others would rather do only a few large ones. From my perspective, I prefer to have my final score determined by a couple of large tasks for it would be more flexible and students can grasp a deeper understanding of what they learn.【首段话题展开充分，立场清晰明确！】!To begin with, giving students only a few large tasks allows students to arrange their time according to their own schedule, enabling them to attend other programs that interest them. To illustrate, imagine you are asked to hand in a short paper every week. You have to spend a certain amount of time every week on your subject and you are highly likely to miss extra curricula activities that last ten days or more. However, when required to finish a big project every month, you are now able to arrange your timereschedule, working hard on your project for the first fifteen days of the month, leaving the rest of the month to doing  whatever you wish to do. It is obvious that when given a longer period of time to finish one assignment, students are also given a bigger chance of enriching their daily life. Going to school is not merely about taking courses and achieving excellent GPA; a colorful personal life would certainly pave the way for future success.【本段的论点立意不错，论证逻辑也不错！】!

In addition, students would definitely benefit more from accomplishing large assignments than small and frequent assignments, for the former allows them absorb knowledge efficiently. Compared with small assignments, big projects usually require unique insight into the subject as well as team work. When handling a bigan intricate task, students first need to break down the big task into smaller ones after careful study and discussion with their group members, assigning each task to each member. When an individual comes across a problem, the whole group could gather and come up with an effective solution. In this way, the large assignment would be completed with careful consideration as well as profound understanding perception. In contrast, when doing smaller assignment on their own, students have the tendency to form a biased and incomplete point of view towards their tasks.【本段的论点表述还可以改一下，论证还是比较充分有力的】!

However Admittedly, having grades decided by less frequent big small tasks do have some disadvantages, yet these drawbacks are exactly what make this way of grading rewarding. Final grades would not be could easily be compromised because of bad performance in one single assignment. Besides, those who lack self-control would be given a relatively tight schedule, being pushed to hand in their homework during each period possibly lose track of time, leaving all the homework to the last minute. Although at this point determining final grades with large assignments may seem risky, the potential risks actually motivate students to devote more thought and to work harder. Meanwhile, a loose schedule also helps students master the art of time management, which is the key to success in modern society.【本让步段没有转折的自己的固有立场上，论证的度没有把握好】让步段第一句就要转折到自己的立场上！先肯定别人再转折太麻烦了！应该直接说自己的缺点，然后转折到优点上！!

In closing, the benefits of having final grades decided by a few large projects outweight its drawbacks. We have every reason to believe that students would learn more thoroughly and efficiently in this way. 【总结全文】总结的没有很有力啊！!

1、Topic Development：

!首段话题展开，立场清晰明确！!

2、Organization:!

总分总结构，主体段落部分有两个论述段+一个让步段，结构清晰完整！!

3、Language use:!

用词比较丰富，句式还算多样化，有一些语法和拼写错误，详见批注！!

4、Strength:!

结构完整，立场清晰，论证充分富有逻辑！!

5、Weakness:!

让步段的构思不是很合理，语法词汇运用不够熟练！!

6、Improvement:!

同学独立写作的结构清晰，只是对让步段的基本展开模式还不清不楚，同时语言准确性不是很好，建议巩固语法和词汇并参考范文的布局谋篇和遣词造句，以优化自己的写作！!

Independent Task!

Level ：Fair!

3.50!

22!

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